Author

Author

Topic: THE VERDICT

Cpt Fluffy Pants
Member

Posts: 62
From:Melbourne, Vic, Aus
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 04-27-2001 09:17 AM

Gentlemen and Members of the Bar,

Having taken into consideration the evidence presented to me this ANZAC day week concerning the SADITIOUS and HIGHLY TREACHOUROSSE behavioure of the said Mr. BEN HENRY AVERY of BARBAROSSA,

NAMELY that he WILLINGLY and WITH MALICIOUS AFORETHOUGHT did wantonly cause undue and repeated mental distress to his brethren pyrate kind,
also,
that he WILLINGLY and WITH UNDUE NEGLIGENCE treated ladies with DISREGARD by being a dutch-manne,
also,
that he did on many occasions speak in a manner as to cause SHAME, DISREPUTE and MENTAL DEGRADATION upon the here-presented CUT-THROTES FORUM as well as other forums in the good name of the CUT-THROTE PYRATICAL KINDRED,
also,
that he did ATTEMPT to CONSPIRE and CONTRIVE rum rations from said NEWBIES and ESTABLISHED MEMBERS and SENIOR MEMBERS while he was in the true and proper knowledge of his being owing the aforementioned rum,
BUT
my pyrate brothers,
MOST DESPICABLY and UNBECOMING TO A PYRATE WORTH HIS VERY SALT AND TROUSERS,
my good men,
THAT HE DID
with MALICE and AFORETHOUGHT did KNOWINGLY and WITH INTENTION to HARM, DEFAME and otherwise CORRUPT AND CONBOBULATE (more than necessary)
ALL PYRATE KINDRED INCLUDING
THE SISTER HOOD OF PYRATES,
ALL SEA-DOG ALLIANCES
and ALL ALLIANCES UNDER THE GOOD NAME OF CUT-THROTES
by CONTRIVANCE OF PARTICIARY TO ACTS OF WARFARE and other such SCURILLOUS BEHAVIOUR,

I DO HERE BY PRONOUNCE YOU
MR. AVERY OF BARBAROSSA

GUILTY AS CHARGED

YOU are here by sentenced to SIX MONTHS EXILE to the DISNEY WORLD RACING forum, where you will speak as a PYRATE CONTINUOUSLY,
AND FURTHER MORE,
You are to hereby and forthwith hand over the following amounts to the said PYRATES;
UNDEAD JACK :1,000,000 PESOS
CAPTAIN CATCHER: 1,000,000 PESOS
CAPTAIN KRASH: 1,000,000 PESOS
CAPTAIN MR. INCOGNITO: 1,000,020 PESOS
CAPTAIN MITCHEE: nothing what so ever
CAPTAIN KING WILLIAM the SCOT: 500,000 PESOS
You are to forfeit the following to the Sister Hood of PYRATES:
ALL FRIGATES AND GALLEONS YOU MAY HAVE ACQUIRED in the course of your DISHONOURABLE SHENANIGANS,
aswell as 200,000 PESOS PER SISTER

You are to forfeit ALL YOUR AMMUNITION, MUSKETS, PISTOOLS, CANNONNES, GRENADES and SHARPENED STICKS to the SEA-DOG FORUM PYRATES
so that when they learn how to utilise the said devices that they might TAN YOUR DUTCHIE HIDE with them should you be STUPID ENOUGH to approach them with any further conspiratorials.

AND FURTHER MORE
UPON COMPLETION of your six months at the DISNEY WORLD forum,
you are to be rendered unto the services of one CAPTAIN F. PANTS
For TWELVE MONTHS for his CARIBEAN-RENOWNED LITERACY PROGRAMME.
DURING the course of this INTENSIVE REHABILITATION YOU MUST REPORT ONCE A MONTH UPON THE THIRD DAY OF THE GIVEN MONTH TO THE CUT-THROTES FORUM
where you will say in the KING'S GOOD AND PROPER ENGLISH
1)How terribly sorry you are for causing so much consternation
2)How much of a dispicable dogge ye have been and finally
3)How you like to dress up in dresses and be whipped by Juan the Pony-Boy Spaniard,
whether this bee true or else.

UPON your return, should you live so long, to these waters you will be considered a newbie for the rest of your natural life, and forced
1)to buy EVERY round of rum and
2)to undergo the "Bledding Buttocks Initiation Ceremony" upon commencation of each and every conversation you may or may not have with any other PYRATE or PYRATE-LIKE person.

SHOULD AT ANY TIME YOU FAIL TO PAY GOODE AND PROPER ATTENTION TO THESE CONDITIONS,
You the said MR. BEN HENRY AVERY of BARBAROSSA
shall be hunted down to the ends of the Good Lord's Earth and the parts the Devil has charge over too,
WHERE you shall be subject to the greatest confluence of powder and leadde the seven seas hath ever knowne, courtesy of the men you see before you, otherwise knowne as the good PYRATES KINDRED of the CUT-THROTE FORUM.

SO IT IS GOODE AND PROPER BY THE PYRATE ARTIKLES, SO IT IS WRITTEN AND CONFIRMED.

BAILIFF, take this wretch out of my site before I lose my sense of lenience.

GENTLE MEN OF THE JURY,
I thank you for your proper donations to this good court, however after I had seen Avery's treachory at Sea-Dogs, I want you to know that I pass this sentence without bias.

However I will keep the money. I thankyou kindly.

THIS COURT IS NOW ADJOURNED TO RECONVENE AT THE SILVER SLOOP PUBLICANT.

And this time, gentle men, The Rum is on me.

I hope I served your goode sirs well enough today.

Merry ANZAC week.

YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT

THE RIGHT HONORABLE AND MOST FASHIONABLE
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE
CAPTAIN FLUFFY PANTS
Q.C.

[This message has been edited by Cpt Fluffy Pants (edited 04-27-2001).]

Mr Incognito
Member

Posts: 1658
From:Me Flagship - The Grim Reaper
Registered: Dec 1999

posted 04-27-2001 09:51 AM

What 'appened to a simple pyrate lynchin'? Or a good ol' keal-haulin' around Tortuga Bay?

Me thinks tha lad would glady suffer these fates rather than have ta endure such heinous acts as being whipped by Juan the Pony-Boy Spaniard.
And I dont even wanna know what this "Bledding Buttocks Initiation Ceremony" entails!

Ye got me feelin' sorry fer the poor bastid.

In sayin' that, if'n the Git don't pay up dat 1,000,020 pesos I's got commin' to me - whip away

Captain Black Mark
Member

Posts: 656
From:Beached in Bucks, England
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 04-27-2001 10:22 AM

Seems fair te me. One thing, though. I reckons ben thingy owes me the cost o' that bribe, an' all.

KingWilliam
Member

Posts: 399
From:barberton oh usa/Cartegena S.A.
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 04-27-2001 10:57 AM

Haaar! A fione sentence thar mate.I's think de scurvy rat wont be pay'in ups doe.'Es agrees ta UJ's terms ta stay off dis forum.If'in ye post dis ov'a dare 'e mite see's it.But's like Coggy say's if'in 'e don'ts pay me's retribution 'e should be's slap'd.Thar 'e goes mate,Haaar!

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May all scots be free and me pirates winds be ta their backs.An' beware ye scurvy english dogs I's watch'in ye Haar!An' me Celts be free of tyranny.An' de black ship be d@mn'd.I's Admiral of de Mercesdes named afta me own Muther Arrrg! what a Grand lady she was too!

Capn. Greenbeard
Member

Posts: 1002
From:Nova Albion
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 04-27-2001 04:36 PM

All I want from him is.......................
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silence......

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Capn. Greenbeard
Most Retch - ed Freebooter alive!!

mitchee
Junior Member

Posts: 22
From:APO, AP
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 04-28-2001 12:16 AM

Cpt Pants,

You are the most anal focused pirate on these here seas. Your speech is offensive and crued. I tried to respond to your last string of this vain in creative likeness, but not this time.

The sentence was well-spoken otherwise. I'm not sure why I didn't receive anything, but a mention except that you were disappointed that I didn't find your anal jokes humorous. Thanks for the mention.

A round o' rum to go with the pesos ye all received.

Cpt Mitchee

[This message has been edited by mitchee (edited 04-28-2001).]

Captain Pellew
Member

Posts: 157
From:Port Royal's me 'ome base
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 04-28-2001 12:27 AM

28 April, 2001
1723 Hours

To whom all concerned, i beleive that I, Captain Sir Edward Pellew, Lord Exmouth, late of the Royal Navy, deserve a substansial sum of the afore said moneys for having to put up with the said BEN HENRY AVERY of BARBAROSSA shannanigans as i returned to port.

I was shamefully looked upon as a NEWBIE by the said BEN HENRY AVERY, and was therefore told to by a round of rum for the bar. Apart from the fact that i did by a round (out of the goodness of my dear ole heart, i assure you), i should be awarded with a sum of moneys (up to the court's decision), and at least 100 rounds of the fine liquids at this very moment of time.

Finnally, may i add, that if the defendant, BEN HENRY AVERY of BARBAROSSA, does not complete the language course of good KING'S ENGLISH, then he should be banned from talking or posting messages at all!

Thankyou for yer time,

------------------
Captain Sir Edward Pellew.
Ship: Indefatigable.
Fleet: Pellew's Flying Squadron (The Buccaneers)
Profession: Pirate and Squadron Commander

Cpt Fluffy Pants
Member

Posts: 62
From:Melbourne, Vic, Aus
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 04-28-2001 03:14 AM

ORDER INT THE COURT!! ORDER IN THE COURT!!

And that goes especially for you, Mitchee, you great belly-aching whinger, lest I hold you in contempt of Pyrate Artikle #2.

Now stop bellowing out of your womanly gob and stuff some of this rum down it.

Cpt FLUFFY "Banging his gavel hard like a fury" PANTS

RED LORD of CHAOS
Member

Posts: 500
From:LIVERPOOL UK
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 04-28-2001 03:17 AM

Aroey Barbarossa....
you ARE tha missin' link....
goodbye.

Pike Masters
Member

Posts: 532
From:London
Registered: May 2000

posted 04-28-2001 03:29 AM

He aint gone. Only sleepin.

Dunno if Undead Jack has swallowed his lie bout neffer coming back. Was hopin Jack would so's I could enjoy the unbridled fury when benavery reneged. Thar aint nuffin I likes more dan Jacks inconsolable rage.

Jus seems when people are downright furious an dangerously angry I is at me happiest.

Dere is jus somethin pleasin bout a man in a fit of violent temper.

Jack haint responded to him. I has a sneakin suspicion Jack knows he is a liar.

KingWilliam
Member

Posts: 399
From:barberton oh usa/Cartegena S.A.
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 04-28-2001 06:58 AM

I's gots ta agrees wit ye Pike,we's aint heered de last 'o dat oine.(regretful'y)'Es like barnicals ye can scrap 'im but dey keeps com'in back.

Susannah
Member

Posts: 305
From:Bristol, England, UK
Registered: Jun 2000

posted 04-28-2001 07:34 AM

quote:

Originally posted by Pike Masters:
He aint gone. Only sleepin.

Jus seems when people are downright furious an dangerously angry I is at me happiest.

Dere is jus somethin pleasin bout a man in a fit of violent temper.

Jack haint responded to him. I has a sneakin suspicion Jack knows he is a liar.

I know it sounds a bit harsh, but rather than let the forum once again get flooded by nonsensical and even inflammatory harassin' posts that upset all of us, can't the trial's sentence be that we ask the mods to bar aroey from the forum? He's making me sicker than Krap ever did!

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Black Susannah, Captain of the Midnight Scourge

Pike Masters
Member

Posts: 532
From:London
Registered: May 2000

posted 04-28-2001 08:05 AM

Mebbe this site will cheer u up Susannah
http://www.akella.com/seadogs2/

If you check the Seadogs forum you will see benavery is already threatening everybody here with his return and for some reason he seems to think by not returning here then we, as Cutthroats, cannot post on the Seadog forum. I wouldnt worry too much, he's bin foamin at the mouth for a long time, mebbe the Seadogs will put the rabid bastid outa his misery once an fer all.

The whole trial has got him delusional about his own importance, if he does return I dont figger it will be for long. To tell the truth I have found his idiocy mildly entertaining, but then I felt the same about Blackhawk.

Blackhawk made the mistake of treadin on Mad Mooses toes, who hounded him outa here. UJ has all but got rid of aroey longbenavery barbarossa and would hound the cur to his grave an beyond. We dont really need to go runnin to them Eidos dons. I is a lil ashamed a pirate wench like yersel even thought of that, reckon Kraps taken more outa ye than I figgered.

Cpt Fluffy Pants
Member

Posts: 62
From:Melbourne, Vic, Aus
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 04-28-2001 08:31 AM

God help us all.

We are actually taking ourselves seriously.

P'raps Avery was right, and all of us were wrong?

Oh no! A paradox! An enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a chocolate coating with a chewy nougat center...

Kome Back Krap, I used to enjoy your posts!

Captain Black Mark
Member

Posts: 656
From:Beached in Bucks, England
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 04-28-2001 11:35 AM

Capt'n Fluffypants, yer honour! The dastardly Dutchman is maligning yer good self 'mongst the Seadogs. 'E seems te see yer fine pants as some kind o' sign of effeminacy. I reckon 'e may turn apoplectic (blimey, I didn't even know I knew that word). But not Krap. Please not Krap!

Fletcher Christian
Member

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: Apr 2000

posted 04-28-2001 01:51 PM

Where the bloody 'ell is my share of his prizes? All his other ships will do quite nicely, I suppose.

Cpt Fluffy Pants
Member

Posts: 62
From:Melbourne, Vic, Aus
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 04-28-2001 08:26 PM

Dear Mr Black Mark,

Unfortuneatley the Chinese Government has interpretted "Seadogs" to mean
"Running Capatilist Dogs Who Threaten The Glorious People's Republic of China"

And thus I can no longer access the site.
Please forward relevant information to this forum if you can be bothered.

I know I couldn't be.

And may I just say thank goodness for the vigilance of the industrious board of censors in China for helping keep my mind fresh and filled with good thoughts about the Mighty and Glorious People's Republic of China! Long live Chairman Mao and Down With America tm!!

Captain
FLUFFY "Did you get the micro-film?" PANTS

Capn. Greenbeard
Member

Posts: 1002
From:Nova Albion
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 04-28-2001 09:53 PM

Don't get me started....

BTW, I know facetiousness when I see it. Better hope your "protectors" don't...

Keep yer nose clean, F.P. Your irreverence is a valuable asset 'round these parts.

Or do you have Diplomatic Immunity???

HARR HARR HARR!

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Capn. Greenbeard
Most Retch - ed Freebooter alive!!